The War of the Future
In this shallow, celeb-obsessed age, as style frequently wins the war over substance, your eagle-eyed visionary can foresee the types of conflict the world is heading towards. APRIL 2044, LONDON. The...
View ArticleDoctor Foster steps into a muddle
SCENE: DOCTOR’S SURGERY [DOCTOR FOSTER IS ATTENDING TO LITTLE JACK HORNER] Dr Foster: Well, Master Horner, I hope that’s the last time you stick your thumb where it’s not wanted. Just rub this in twice...
View ArticleThe Ballad of Juan Kerr
When I woke up one morning my girlfriend, she had gone. Well, if I was really honest I never did have one. But if I did have one she’d be bound to up and go: For I have halitosis and I live in...
View ArticleA Mountain Out Of A Molehill
I HAD THE most embarrassing experience once. You might think I am making a mountain out of a molehill, but, at the time I felt I was teetering on the edge of the Grand Canyon. There might have been...
View Article“How are you?”
WHEN SOMEONE asks me ‘How Are You?’ I always reply automatically: ‘Fine thanks, how are you?’ That’s what they want to hear. I bend to the whims of social etiquette. NO LONGER! The beast within shall...
View ArticlePrince Nigel at Martindales
Not all royal princes had a tough time at the famous public school, Martindales. Prince Nigel, the Queen’s cousin twice removed (twice removed, that is, from Buckingham Palace; he now lives in...
View ArticleEnglish comedians Tim Vine and Mark Kelly having a chat . . .
MARK KELLY interviews the UK’s leading pun master, Tim Vine while being cartooned by John Landers: This is the latest in my series of celebrity interviews, Chattoon!, all of which can be seen HERE....
View ArticleQuickie!
DO YOU THINK George Clooney has permission from the urbane planning department? Simon Ellinas Caricatures Simon EllinasCartoonist, caricaturist, humorous writer and video producer. Humour's the big...
View ArticleThe Courtship of Prince Nigel
Prince Nigel is the Queen’s second cousin, twice removed (twice removed, forcibly, from Buckingham Palace. He now lives in Battersea). After leaving school, Prince Nigel settled into his bedsit with...
View ArticleIs Princess Diana’s former butler Paul Burrell really Prince Harry’s father?
NO. Writing by Simon Ellinas Simon EllinasCartoonist, caricaturist, humorous writer and video producer. Humour's the big thing.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook
View ArticleBBC Sex Scandal – If you weren’t groped, you weren’t at the BBC!
MORE AND MORE victims of sexual harassment at the BBC during the Eighties are coming to light in the wake of the under-age sexual abuse accusations aimed at Jimmy Savile and other BBC stars. Radio One...
View ArticleTelevision talent show is “not rigged” shock!
THE WORLD OF showbiz and tabloid journalism was rocked yesterday by news that the TV talent show, The Wow Factor was completely above board and honest. In all circumstances, apparently, each contestant...
View ArticleLondon Mayor, Boris Johnson on UK Prime Minister David Cameron and ‘Privileges’
CARPE DIEM, chaps! Well, it’s obvious that expecting some people to understand that would be ab asino lanam! Cripes! Some Old Etonians seem to think the Magna Carta is an ice cream! People keep coming...
View ArticleWhy did nobody stop Jimmy Savile?
LEFT: Girls, this is what a pervert looks like. Fairly obvious, really, isn't it? THIS IS THE question common to all newspapers in the UK. The pervert disc jockey Sir Jimmy Savile got away with abusing...
View ArticleSensational discovery by Mars Rover on the Red Planet! Howzabout that then?
EXCITED SCIENTISTS REPORT that the Mars Rover has recorded an encounter with an actual inhabitant of the planet. The Martian creature looked not unlike many well-known depictions of aliens by close...
View ArticleBrad Pitt and the US war on drugs – at the rate of $2,000 for 20 minutes
HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR BRAD Pitt went on the warpath against drugs abuse in the US recently with the completely selfless promotion of his new documentary The House We Live In. This is not all about the...
View ArticleUS Election Race sensational dope scandal!
LEFT: The next US President thinking deeply and carefully about Health Care Reform THE WHOLE OF the American political system was rocked yesterday by the revelation of a dope scandal enveloping the...
View ArticleUK’s Tony Blair says there should be a President of Europe
FORMER UK PRIME Minister Tony Blair said yesterday that the solution to the problems of a rapidly disintegrating Europe would be if he was put in charge immediately. Democratically-elected, of course....
View ArticleThe day I was beaten up in front of comedian Arnold Brown
A CARICATURIST CAN have all sorts of adventures if they’re travelling the length and breadth of the country (and sometimes abroad) to events in order to draw live caricatures as an entertainment. If...
View ArticleAn Editor Writes . . .
AS A RESPECTED broadsheet newspaper editor, I can’t say how appalled I am at the News of the World’s hacking into Prince William’s personal mobile voicemail messages. It is simply outrageous the way...
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